Instead of stories ...

Sometimes, of an evening, Frank and I discuss what stories he might like to hear.

I love reading and being read to. Thus talking books are great for me, especially as I can cook and potter whilst following a story.
I have very fond memories of being in my mid-twenties and sharing a house with two other young female teachers, one of whom is still one of my best friends, Alex.
Alex is from Ballymoney in Northern Ireland and after a few years teaching here in Essex, followed her heart home and works now in Belfast.
On special occasions Alex would read out loud to me as we both lay on sofas in the lounge of the house we shared. He gorgeous northern Irish accent made every story extra special to me.
Well, Frank loves stories too, but is in that in-betweeeny phase at the moment of not really enjoying longer stories and wanting the same very young children's stories over and over.
I have no problem with this unless it has been a long day and I am in need of something a little more peppy!
This was the case the other evening and so I suggested we took paper, books and pencils and his bedtime snack upstairs with us and planned our Chinese New Year celebrations on the big double bed INSTEAD of stories.

We had a couple of books for ideas of dragons to draw and Frank erected a pillow barrier to prevent me from seeing the dragon he was drawing.

Here you can see his snack (apples slices and an oat biscuit) and in the background his little monster design book. This is just a small Moleskine book that he has by the side of his bed and in which he draws any good ideas for monsters when he's allowed ten minutes reading or designing alone before lights go out.
Monsters don't frighten him and he loves to design weird and wonderful ones.

We came up with this version of a dragon for our Chinese New Year celebration and Frank had a ball using his new chalk pastels to colour it in as they were so bright.

My point with this post is that we spent a long time drawing and reading and talking about our ideas and I think both of us felt energised by this new activity.

I firmly believe in routine and the support it provides for all of us but on the occasion that I have stepped outside the routine and done something creative I have felt amazed by the energy I have tapped into.
Rather than feeling more tired by our slightly later night we felt great and had shared some creative time and most definitely strengthened our connection to each other as two people that like to create, albeit he monsters and gross creatures and me slightly less gross things!
Instead of stories, create ...
Any other ideas for great bedtimes?

Don't Look Back

Well, despite plans for an upbeat post about my personal goals for 2012 I found myself faced with the squat presence of The Diabetes Toad today.
I was cleaning out the fridge with Frank, who loves the emptying out bit but then disappears for the cleaning!
I took a moment to remove the photos adorning the fridge door and found The Toad, waiting for me as I took in the pictures of my boy on this piece of furniture in my home.
A piece that I go to every day, multiple times.
And my breath was knocked out of me.
Again.
As I thought, "He didn't have Diabetes then..... or then ... oh, that's the holiday in Cornwall, he didn't have Diabetes there either ... or when he was eating that apple there in that cute picture ... oh ... oh, hello Diabetes Toad, you're back for a bit are you?"
And so it goes.
I well up and feel like crap and hate this disease that takes over our lives as well as too much shelf space in our fridge and home.
And yet ... and yet ...
He lives.
We live.
It is hard, but looking back in this way only encourages the Diabetes Toad and he's too big for his boots anyway.
Let's cut him down a peg or two.
So don't look back.
Except in love and acceptance.

The Diabetes Toad lurks for all of us, I know he does, but these days I can give him a nod and clean out the fridge and get on with my day.
An example of this for this very minute:
the full-on life force of Frank has just manifested itself by running into the room with his winter hat on backwards, arms stretched out sideways and saying "Ninja!" (we have a bit of a Scooby Doo & the Black Samurai fetish going on, especially in the build up the Chinese New Year too!) At this display the Diabetes Toad disappears in a puff of smoke and life is good.
Life is sweet.

I end with a gratuitously cute picture of my boy, four years ago, in the bath, the spitting image of me at that age.
He didn't have Diabetes then either but that's OK.
Blessings and Toad-free days to all!

Off the needles - tea leaves!

And about flipping time, I hear you all cry (yes, you especially Lise!!).
It is done.
It is washed.
It is blocked.
It is dry (although I regret doing the final drying hour on the radiator as it has lines on it now, but people came by for galette des rois (epiphany cake) and it had to go somewhere and not stay in the middle of the floor in front of the wood stove - sigh).
It is enormous.
Andrew is fitting a new ceiling to the garage today and I ran outside, just after breakfast and asked him to take a few pictures of the cardi and his wife (that's me!) modelling it.
I am not wearing make up, I haven't even brushed my hair, I got to bed past midnight and I am wearing my second favourite dress.
This dress is very comfy but does make me look six months "with child".
I would love to tell you all that the above is unusual for me.
But alas ...
So, on that warning note here it is: Tea Leaves, the baby that took only six months in the making.

And now I am cast adrift, not sure what to knit next.
I am thinking mittens.
Quick and simple and we must surely be due some cold weather soon?
I am sitting here in short sleeves, no socks and the heating isn't even on.
It is MILD.
Better get outside and enjoy it with Frank.
Love to all. Have a good Monday.

Mellow Sweetness

I have really been enjoying mellow days with my boys over the Christmas and New Year holidays.
Some days have been filled with such gentle sweetness that I have felt a surge of joy at my luck to have these two men in my life.
After our Solstice celebration it was heads down and into Christmas.
We went to a lovely party hosted by a friend on Christmas Eve and I was able to catch up with my friend Tanya and her hubby Rob. He was sporting the biggest smile ever having finally landed a job after eighteen very long and tricky months and many, many interviews. I just didn't want to talk to anyone else having seen them go through such a hard time and just loved feeling the energy pulsing out of them that evening. They are good people and like many in this economic climate have been through a lot.
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Christmas Day saw us eating croissants as we opened our gifts and then heading off to celebrate Christmas with Sue (Andrew's ex-wife), Sarah and Tom (his children from this first marriage, they are 29 and 25 respectively).
Sue made a fantastic lunch of turkey, roast potatoes, sausages, veggies, bread sauce, cranberry sauce and gravy.
Frank was in his element!
At around 4pm we all tucked into the mince pies I made along with a cup of tea.

I used a pastry recipe from Sarah Raven's Complete Christmas book (which I love!! Highly recommended) and filled the pies with sugar free mincemeat made by my friend Fiona.
The little bird lids on the lids were a last minute decision as a full lid can be heavy and I love a bit of whimsy at any time.

Boxing Day saw us three in the woods getting some much needed fresh air and gathering some sticks for the fire.
And for New Year we drove down to Reading to stay with Severine and had such a lovely time, full of mellow sweetness again.
Severine knows us well and was happy to have a quiet, reflective evening with good food and some games and chat about our plans for the coming year.
We played a music quiz, drank champagne, ate smoked salmon and made a list of what we want to achieve in 2012.
Actually, Andrew let Sev and I drink the champagne as he toasted the new year with (hold onto your knickers) CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!

I have no idea what Sev actually thought but I could hazard a guess!

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And my plans for 2012?
They include posting here more often.
So on that note, I will be back soon with more on my plans for 2012.
Blessings to you all for a healthy, happy and joyful 2012 full of mellow sweetness.

Winter Solstice

We celebrated the Winter Solstice yesterday evening with lots of candles, good food and gifts.
Frank was allowed to stay up late to play his new game and then we all went to bed at the same time, chatting quietly until we fell asleep, Frank first followed by myself and then Andrew.
These dark winter days are special to me as I love this season of introspection after such busy times outside all summer and autumn.

More knitting, reading and planning! Hooray!
In the next few days we will visit people and have people to us, exchange gifts and watch Frank's pantomime that he has been planning for a few days now.

Then it's head down and into the full-on festivities with family and friends.
I enjoy the Winter Solstice more than Christmas for its quiet sense of wonder at nature and peaceful family celebration.
I will be enjoying some screen free days this Yuletide and will be back in the middle of next week.
Peace and blessings to you all, and may the D-fairy behave itself this festive season!

In these days of long shadows

We are busy busy, busy preparing for a season of gift giving: making cards, writing gift tags, making Christmas treasure hunts, knitting, reading recipes and making choices, baking and general elving.
A few days ago Frank and I went to Frinton for fresh air and a race on the beach (he always wins, but only because I cry less at losing!) followed by fish & chips and a great score of a Scooby Doo puzzle in a charity shop.
It was blissful.
Blue, blue sky and just me and my boy on that beach.

It makes me happy, this stretch of coast. Always.

And then we stay home a lot too; making things, crafting, elving and baking.

I took this picture as a way of telling the tale of how I reached without looking for my coffee and nearly took a swig of a bowl of beads today!
They actually had to touch my lips before I realised it wasn't my drink.
Must use my eyes next time.

And more elving, preceded by a fun afternoon decorating the ginger biscuits we made in the morning.
Oh yes, we had fun with that one!

Hope you are enjoying your winter too!

And take note: these biscuits are NOT BURNT.
Neither are they strangely blue!

Recipe for charcoal cookies

Yup, I made them and they take merely four hours to bake.
Easy.
Here's how you do it.
Take all your usual ingredients for really good quality chocolate chip cookies: organic butter, soft brown muscovado sugar, spelt flour, Green & Blacks dark chocolate, organic eggs and so on.
Make two batches of these cookies and then let them cool on wire racks in the kitchen whilst popping the last batch in the oven for a quick ten minutes.
And here is where you raise your game from cook to kitchen genius.
Forget this last batch and sweep yourself and your family off into Colchester for lunch.
Meet D-Mamas and friends with D for lunch as part of the support group you help run and chat merrily away.
Order coffee, order falafel and salad, have more coffee. Stroll back to the van and drive home feeling great about knowing such lovely people.
Open the front door, smell the burnt fat and think "Oh, damn, I left the oven on".
Walk slowly to the oven and look inside, still expecting to see nothing in there, because really, what kind of fool leaves cookies for four hours!?!
Find this:

Slap your forehead and know for a fact that you are the biggest muppet of a cook since the Swedish chef on the Muppet Show and spend three days trying to get the dark stains off the tiles and the smell out of the house.
Put the cookies in the bin outside, because even the compost would surely be poisoned by this travesty.

Happy eating!