Ryan's sunset

Not wanting to let the beautiful sunset of Ryan's Festival go without being officially blogged.

A week ago today this was it:

the sunset over Prettygate in Colchester, England on the day that Ryan Schuhmacher was celebrated far far away in California.

xxxxxx

Meri

Barely six months ago I posted about my dear friend Meri's husband Ryan being diagnosed with cancer.  Let's make it clear, I have never met Meri but her name and those of her family, and indeed dog, are mentioned in my home as though they live just down the street.

In terms of the DOC (Diabetes on-line Community) they do live just down the street.

They have four boys, the three youngest of whom have Type 1 diabetes.  

And last Sunday morning Ryan passed away.  

The impossible happened.  

The unimaginable.

And what do I write?  

Where is the Hallmark card for this one? 

Today Meri and her boys and extended family laid Ryan to rest and celebrated the lovely family man that he was.

In every word she ever wrote about him Meri loved him so dearly.  

They were together twenty years.

So, my default when stuck for words is to look to the words of my six year old boy.  

To Frank, whom Meri knows and whose sweet face she often mentions.

Frank calls funerals "festivals" and this is where I choose to go:

Today was the Festival of Ryan. 

A man remembered with such love and joy.  

A man never to be forgotten by those who adored him.  

This evening as I put Frank to bed we stopped to take in the beautiful pink and blue of this early autumn sunset and I thought of Ryan and the joyful heavens.

And of Meri and her four boys, who need much love and support as they step forward along the fork in the road they had never expected to walk.

May the road rise up to meet them.

Perspective in sad times

This time last week, almost exactly to the hour, we received a call from Colchester General Hospital to say that Andrew's Mother, Janet, was about to pass away and that Andrew and his father should head up to the hospital.
She had only been admitted the day before and during his visits to her over those two days Andrew felt she wasn't really there.
She was sleeping a lot and not very lucid.
He went to the hospital with his father to say goodbye and then returned home, sad but not devastated.
Janet had been ill and her quality of life has deteriorated a great deal over the past few months.
She was 81 years old.

**********************************

The following morning Andrew was online and read the news about Ryan Schumacher, the husband of our dear friend Meri in California.
And there it was: a huge amount of perspective on our own situation.
Meri was one of the first people whose blogs I read when Frank was first diagnosed and her stories offered a great deal of support to me, all at sea with the business of managing the beast that it Type 1 Diabetes.
She helped me to be a proud D-Mama and to let nothing stop me from doing my best every day.
She is never anything but positive and supportive.
Meri is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT people in my life as the parent of a child with Diabetes.
For anyone new to the wonder that is Meri (and I am aware that most people reading my blog know her already!) let me say a few things:

Meri and Ryan have four great sons.
Three of their boys have Type 1 Diabetes.
Three, not one, three.
All the fear and hard work and finger pricks and hypos and hypers that Andrew and I deal with are dealt with by Meri and Ryan three times over.
How the woman has the energy to blog used to amaze me but I do now understand the need for it; the release that comes from putting those words down on the page and the joy and peace when comments roll in and people respond telling you they feel the same way.
Meri is always there for every other parent in the Diabetes Online Community (DOC).
She gives support constantly and asks for it when she needs it too.

*******************************
So, here it is:
last Tuesday, Ryan Schumacher, Meri's husband of 19 years, was diagnosed with six cancerous brain tumours as well as other tumours in his abdomen and legs.
He is 40 years old.
Talk about perspective.
Big time.

And as we plan Janet's funeral I am also thinking constantly about Meri and Ryan and the long and scary fight that lies ahead for them and their boys.
My Mum and Dad gave me some money for The Diabetes Society last week (they meant JDRF but can never get it right!).
I have sent it to the Schumachers.
It was the only thing to do.
I am telling this story here not to point out how great I am ( I am really not as what I want to do is jump on a plane to California and help somehow!!) but to ask any of you that might be reading to check out the Schumacher's story for themselves and if moved to do so, to contribute in any way you can.
It is very possibly the only thing to do.
Love to all.
It is a sad week but may we all find peace in our hearts.