Thursday 8 December 2011

Recipe for charcoal cookies

Yup, I made them and they take merely four hours to bake.
Here's how you do it.
Take all your usual ingredients for really good quality chocolate chip cookies: organic butter, soft brown muscovado sugar, spelt flour, Green & Blacks dark chocolate, organic eggs and so on.
Make two batches of these cookies and then let them cool on wire racks in the kitchen whilst popping the last batch in the oven for a quick ten minutes.
And here is where you raise your game from cook to kitchen genius.
Forget this last batch and sweep yourself and your family off into Colchester for lunch.
Meet D-Mamas and friends with D for lunch as part of the support group you help run and chat merrily away.
Order coffee, order falafel and salad, have more coffee. Stroll back to the van and drive home feeling great about knowing such lovely people.
Open the front door, smell the burnt fat and think "Oh, damn, I left the oven on".
Walk slowly to the oven and look inside, still expecting to see nothing in there, because really, what kind of fool leaves cookies for four hours!?!
Find this:
Slap your forehead and know for a fact that you are the biggest muppet of a cook since the Swedish chef on the Muppet Show and spend three days trying to get the dark stains off the tiles and the smell out of the house.
Put the cookies in the bin outside, because even the compost would surely be poisoned by this travesty.

Happy eating!


  1. Yay - we all have to do this. At least you found them after four hours. When we had an aga we left food in for days without realising because it doesn't let the smell out!

  2. ha ha We did that with homemade pizza, I was amazed at how small it shrunk after several hours in an oven that was off!

  3. Oh, my gosh, you have me laughing out loud! I'm pretty sure I've made those cookies.

  4. How did you make them blue? hehe! I'm glad the result was an amusing blog post and not a call to the fire department!

  5. They are a lovely blue! Some kind of magic that they're blue and not black?

  6. they look so BLUE! WOW!

    we've done this, MORE THAN ONCE, except instead of cookies in the oven, it was when we used to boil bottle nipples on the stove. we ruined more than a few nipples by leaving them to boil and walking away, only to come back to them with no more water in the pot but plastic sizzling on the bottom.

  7. Argh! Thank goodness that burnt biscuits were all you got x
    It's one of my worse fears that we will return to a burned down house because of leaving the oven (or whatever) on!
    It did make me giggle, though.