Please excuse my absence this week.
I am following all of your posts but finding very little time or energy to comment. You are all with me every day, I just don't feel up to much but getting to grips with this new phase.
But after my saint of a husband letting me lie in this morning I have time and energy for an update of our week:
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Lucky Pump is with us all day, every day.
He comes cycling with us when Frank comes out to the local shops and the library with me, nestled in Frank's pocket as he races along.
We are in telephone contact every day with the hospital as we all work to fine tune the basals and we are testing BG all through the day and then at 10pm, 12 midnight, 2:30 and then on waking at 7am.
We work it thus: one of us does the 10pm and the midnight whilst the other, in theory, gets some sleep in the spare room in anticipation of doing the 2:30am test.
In practice, we both stay up until twelve and then whoever is doing the 2:30am test sleeps fitfully until their shift.
We are exhausted and the day before yesterday I broke down as I was so very very tired and yet couldn't sleep even whilst lying in bed.
My poor husband had to deal with a sobbing wife at one in the morning, convinced she was an unfit mother.
This new piece of kit attached to my baby clearly has me wired too.
It does not feel under control yet.
I lie awake watching him breathe and, tell me you don't do this and I won't believe you, having those dark nighttime thoughts that seem built into the human psyche about what a terrible person I am and wishing I was a calm zenlike mother rather than this complete mess.
Then sleep overcomes me after the final test and in the morning Frank wakes and smiles at me and says "Can I have a story?" and all is well.
I feel like I have a newborn again as the nights are long, but this phase will pass and I will sleep for more than half an hour at a stretch again.
I feel like I have a newborn again as the nights are long, but this phase will pass and I will sleep for more than half an hour at a stretch again.Andrew is amazing in this.
He has always coped more graciously with less sleep than me.
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And on the up side: I love how the pump has made snacking much less of an obstacle course.
Today I made wholemeal chocolate chip cookies and Frank, who has declared he only likes uncooked biscuits, polished off the scrapings in the bowl.
How could I resist taking a picture of this boy, this wonderful boy, licking the bowl with such gusto.
This is how he lives life.
I have much to learn from him!
P.S. A quick kit question for you: What kind of little bags or packs are good for kids Frank's age to hold the pump? Where can I get a little bum bag for the pump? Well, we call them bum-bags over here, but I have heard them called fanny-packs in America (this for a British person brings a whole different image!).What do you do at night?
Can anyone recommend some good stuff?
I'd be so grateful.
My love and friendship to you all.
My love and friendship to you all.
I am always so grateful for your voices and thoughts.
Oh you are such a great mother Jules and Frank is so very lucky to have you! While my Grace is on the OmniPod pump, which is tubeless, I know there will be many other moms who post to you about which bum-bags they love. You will get through this and know that you are going where we have all gone - sleepless nights, tired beyond all tired - and we are making it and so shall you. We are with you in spirit, despite all the miles in between us. Frank is such a dear sweet boy. You are an amazing mother, don't you ever forget it.
ReplyDeleteI adore your honesty and ability to put it into words that I can just fffeeeeeeeeeellll, Oh the tiredness is just so aweful. I would rather be poked with a hot stick then be sleep deprived. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe are not pumping yet, so I cannot offer advice on carriers. I have seem some great designs, though!
Hang in there . . . . and keep baking!!!
Hi Jules, don't despair, the very fact that you are tired and tearful is because you are doing the very best job you can and are being the best mummy. I have no ideas what it's like for you, my husband is type 1 diabetic but it must be a whole different kettle of fish for you. I know it's easy to say hang in there, but do, as it will all be ok. Lots of love and hugs xx
ReplyDeletePS not sure about where you could get a bum bag.... have you thought of trying to make something? I know you might not have time at the moment, but something tailor made for it might be the best when you have a minute to think about it, in a fabric that Frank chooses himself? You could search for a bag pattern on the internet and then just size it to fit the pump. Also if it was made in fabric it could be washed, and you could make several so Frank could choose depending on his mood each day?!x
ReplyDeleteTallygear.com...they are the BEST! Joe has used them for awhile now. We tried the others and have found them to not be as "supportive" of the "active" lifestyle that Joe would like to live.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU. YOU ARE DOING GREAT! YOU CAN DO THIS WOMAN!!! AND I LOVE FRANK LICKING THE BOWL!!!
I remember the first night with the pump on Addison I felt so ...worried. It is so strange in the beginning. We didn't get much sleep either but now..well, still not as much sleep as "normal" folks but more than before the pump and way more than in the beginning of pumping. Hang in there friend!!!
ReplyDeleteWe use Spibelts. They stay in place pretty well on Addison and the material they are made of is quite nice. I have heard such great things about Tallygear..I have been meaning to get one for Addison to try.
Glad to get the latest report..I have been thinking of you!
It sounds like you are all doing an amazing job - well done and hang on in there! We have a couple of pouches for Aleksi's pump, a good idea as they do jump out of little boys pockets!! One is from medtronic, here is the rather long link - http://www.medtronic-diabetes.co.uk/product-information/insulin-pump-accessories/close-fitting-pouches.html It is the waist pouch we use, the strap can be cut to size, washable and durable! We also have for special occasions a great camouflage pouch from too sweet boutique - http://www.toosweetboutique.net/category_2/Boys.htm
ReplyDeleteI so sympathize with the exhaustion. It looks like you're on the way to something better, though.
ReplyDeleteLucy just had her first lick-the-beaters baking experience, and was in heaven. So wonderful that Frank can enjoy it, too.
Thanks for your comments on my sap post. Those are some of my favorite photos of Lucy, and I was so glad you could see why.
Love that kid! YUMMY :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on this new phase of your journey...I do remember feeling uneasy about it for the 1st 8 weeks. Then, somehow, something clicked and we've never looked back!
I have to second Talleygear.com And we really like the Zipps from Pump Wear, Inc as well :)
Isaac's favorite pump pouch for bedtime is from the "Too Sweet Boutique" its really soft and fabulous :), we have one from pump wear that he doesn't really like a spibelt, same situation and a few made from somebody off of CWD forum. He really prefers his in his pump pockets that I've sewn onto almost all of his t's....
ReplyDeleteNot sure if that was helpful, but it's what works for us.