Dream a little dream ...

When Frank was twelve weeks old we took him to mainland Europe for three months in our camper van, doing a mixture of camping, hotels and staying with friends as we visited Denmark, Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic and the Netherlands.

It was an amazing trip.

He was totally portable and I was breastfeeding.

I had been informed by the medical profession that we could never have children naturally (long story).

I was thirty eight and trying to resign myself to the fact.

I wasn't doing very well at that.

In the Autumn of 2006 I kept feeling so tired that I would fall asleep every afternoon after teaching in the morning.

I was convinced I was ill and joined a gym to get some energy back.

At eight weeks pregnant the penny finally dropped and I took a test.

I sobbed like a mad woman when it came out positive.

Took another and cried again. From that moment I was so full of the sheer joys and possibilities of life that I felt invincible.

I had a fantastic pregnancy and Frank was born without problems.

I felt proud I'd only needed gas and air, especially as he was 8lbs8oz , although I admit they had to prise the gas/air syphon thing out of my hand!

Then when we got home from our great trip my husband suffered a kind of long period of depression, which took a huge toll on me as a new Mum. He couldn't function some days.

It was like having two babies.

Horrible for both of us.

Then he turned a small corner and started to feel better.

A month after that Frank was diagnosed with Type 1.

Forgive me but I cannot dare to "dream a little dream..".

I try to never actively think about the idea of a cure. It is like wishing for the moon.
I will do as much as I can to support research into finding a cure.

I have to use my energy keeping my boy alive and healthy.

It is 21:39pm. Frank sleeps. He has just gone too low in his sleep, no doubt the results of a lovely time out in the woods today. He has had juice.

A cure? I don't dare imagine.

BUT I was told categorically that I would not have children ...

I have a kernel of hope but cannot write about it yet. Too raw. Too huge. Too painful.

I am so lucky to have this amazing little boy in my life, whose energy and diabetes make me a better person every day.

I have had an emotional week this week, the Diabetes Blog Week coinciding with my husband being away.

Writing about diabetes every day has weirdly done me good.

It has forced me to examine my feelings and I find that I am stronger than I thought.

I have met new friends and gained new insight into dealing with this condition.

I have felt a bit abandoned on the one hand but then also SO VERY supported.

With a full heart I thank you all for an unforgettable week.