Tuesday 11 May 2010

My biggest supporter

Look at those eyes.

Those are caring eyes.

My best friend helps me cope with it all and we do it as equally as we can.

He is off hiking in Scotland today and away for a week.

I am alone with this but as my biggest supporter he deserves a break.

My break will come another time.

I love this man.
P.S. We had a bad night with little sleep as Frank was high and wanting me to be in his bed with him. We did everything right yesterday but he had a hypo of 2.6 and them a high at 3:30am of 19.4. What the ...?
I cried, again.
This morning all was well and good numbers arrived. Budd left for a week in Scotland and barely three hours later Frank and I are eating lunch and he looks at me and says, "Mummy, I don't want to die. Then I won't be with you."
More large, hot tears as I tried to hide my exhaustion and fears of doing this alone. How can there still be tears in there? I must be practically dessicated by now.
Any advice on how to manufacture feelings of Mama strength in times of need?
I'm thinking chick flicks and green tea (no glass of wine for a week in case I need to drive to the hospital).
Knitting too and Natalie Merchant's new album, which serendipitously (get me with the long words) arrived in the post this morning.
Other ideas much appreciated.
I know you all get it. Live it, in fact.
My thought s are with all parent of Type 1 children more than ever today.


  1. What a great photo!
    No advice on avoiding the tears as just reading this made me teary.

  2. We can't take away the tears. We can only let them know how much we love them, and you are doing an amazing job at that.

    Chocolate always makes me feel better, but I wouldn't recommend it, my figure isn't what it should be...I eat A LOT to get through. :)

    ((HUGS)) to you! You are doing a great job!

  3. Aw, I'm so sorry. You sound like you have so many great ideas.

    I think I typically end up online communicating with those that "get it". I hope you get lots of comments today and virtual hugs. We've been there. Such a heartbreaking moment, and those are even tougher when you aren't well rested.

    I hope tonight goes better and you can get some sleep.

  4. You made me cry with this post, your sons comment just breaks my heart and I so feel for you! I wouldn't have been able to hold back the tears on that one.

    My daughter has said some things that have just broken my heart with her sadness, so sad that our kids carry such a heavy burden with this disease. My only advice is giving him lots of hugs and unconditional love...which you are doing already.

    As far as making mommy feel better...blogging helps me LOTS, that and like Meri said, Chocolate :)


  5. That's a great photo! Lovely that you and your husband are both able to take a break now and then; it is so necessary.

    As for manufacturing mama strength, well, sometimes I just break down and cry right along with my 10-year-old daughter. It lets her know that it's okay to crumble sometimes.

    But as Meri said, chocolate works too. ;)

    Hang in there.

  6. Jules,
    I'd be crying my eyes out, too. I can't imagine having to deal with all of that stress by myself. Thank goodness you have such a supportive husband to lean on most of the time. When I need extra strength, I get it from chocolate, too much coffee, and paring back to the very minimum I need to do so I can focus on just being in the moment. I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs and a shoulder to cry on and thinking of you as you make your way through this week!

  7. Hi! I just found your blog a week ago and your writing is lovely. So honest and heartfelt and resonates with me each time I read an update. My son, Henry is 13 and was diagnosed a year ago. We have a lot of support and yet I still break down in tears frequently and often feel swallowed up by sadness because my son has to deal with so much responsibility on a daily basis when his peers remain carefree. My son is doing quite well and it seems I think about the unfairness of it all more than he does!

    Mama strength? It sure seems like you have plenty but I know I just have to watch Henry and I gain strength...watch him do a finger poke, watch him endure a shot I've given that was less than stellar, watch him decide to eat some cheese or nuts when he wants a snack but doesn't need a lot of carbs. We have some rough days but he does so many things right that it makes me strong and I look to the good things that may come from our struggles.

    Your stories are wonderful, keep writing! -Linda